When a person you love dies, it’s normal to feel angry at God. 

Read that again and take a deep breath while you do.

God invites us to beg questions that feel unspeakable and just plain faithless in a christian environment. Thank God, that when we are faithless, He remains faithful (2 Tim 2:13). 

God is the giver of life, so when we’re faced with death it is only natural to turn to him and ask, “why has this happened?” God doesn’t cause disasters, chaos, or death. Every human being contends with life events such as these and the beauty of being his children is that he has promised to go with us through them. He gives us the platform to stand before him, as one might stand before a judge in a court, and plead our case. Mercy and compassion are abiding attributes of God and they supersede the judgment we fear. We need not be afraid of talking to him and asking the hardest of questions. For example, “God where were you when they died?” or ”Was my faith not enough to save them?” 

The Lord wants to be with us when we’re reeling over the loss of our loved ones or if we’re contending with how they died. He suffers with us. Jesus sympathizes with our weakness and is able to advocate on our behalf to God (Hebrews 4:13). When we don’t know what to pray, or how to make sense of our loved one’s death, or if it comes out in intense feelings of anger, betrayal, and confusion, take a deep breath and know that God has not left you. He is with you. Your cries are heard and his silence does not mean he is absent (Romans 8:26). 

God who suffers with me, I need your presence more than ever. I cannot make sense of losing ______. I miss them. When I am afraid of coming to you with my heavy grief, comfort me with your holy spirit. Help me to remember you are willing to wrestle with me and my questions. Help me to remember are suffering. Give me the courage to bring myself to you and sit with you in this. Amen.

Institute for GOD student Genesis Garner wrote this piece as a part of the ABHE + Reclaim Today Initiative in 2023. Genesis was one of thirty students chosen from across the nation’s Bible schools to participate in a writing and design workshop.